When it comes to social networking, Facebook is the obvious front-runner in the world of relationships. This outlet for social interactions provides a way to connect to old friends, make new ones, and process everything else related to relationships in between. One of the most exciting features on Facebook when it comes to relationships is the status updates. At the click of a button, the whole world knows when you?re engaged. The same is also true for the reverse scenario; one click and everyone knows you?re single again. Although it does come with perks for some people, not all relationships are enhanced by the social outlet of Facebook.
Undermining Marriages
There have been recent declines in the number of divorces over the last decade following a fairly stable divorce rate and studies have linked this to the fact that many couples prefer live-in situations to marriage these days. However there is strong indication that Facebook is responsible for much of the marriage trouble seen this decade.
According to an article by the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, a staggering 81% of the nation?s top divorce attorneys say Facebook has been the primary source of online evidence in their cases, and the number is only rising.
The Guardian quotes the primary reasons the top social network causes problems in a relationship: photos, status updates, connecting with old flames, and time spent online. Although divorces are not technically caused by Facebook interactions, it certainly accounts for more of the trouble that does currently exist.
Benefits to Consider
ABC News takes a more positive approach to the situation. Instead of focusing on how much harm social networking has caused married couples, ABC believes it could be used as a helpful way for couples to draw closer together.
Tool for determining relationship stability
Having a relationship on public display is a great way to monitor how stable it actually is. Based on interactions online, a couple can gauge weak spots of communication. Discussing problems or issues that arise can help the marriage grow stronger and develops greater trust.
Growing Symbolic Importance
Another way to see the positive side of Facebook is the growing symbolic importance of relationship status updates. Although it may seem trivial to some, many people feel the publicizing of their relationship status is a huge step in recognizing the situation as official. Since your Facebook is practically your life on a billboard, announcing to the world about your relationship change can be quite the celebratory event.
Ways to Prevent Problems
Privacy settings
One of the primary loopholes for problems to develop on Facebook is the constantly changing privacy settings. Just when you think you?ve prevented every possible outlet for exes or old flames to find you and your content, privacy settings completely change and usually go unnoticed. By keeping your privacy settings updated, you will eliminate most of the risk of being found by people you don?t want to or having them interact with your content.
Discussion
The main reason conflict is caused by social networks is because of ambiguous comments, status updates, or other potentially controversial content. If you suspect your spouse of giving inappropriate attention to one of their friends, talk it over. Ask what they mean by what they say.
If an ex wants to friend you, discuss it with your partner before adding them. Beware of friends who may have been interested in you for a lengthy period of time and are suddenly taking an interest in you. You might have pictures of you and old flames as well that your spouse doesn?t appreciate. Discuss whether or not there is anything on your Facebook that they would like to see removed.
Clearing up miscommunications and determining intentions will go a long ways in building trust and maintaining a healthy relationship.
Intentional content
When you post a status update about your relationship, make sure you communicate clearly and intentionally. Ambiguity only makes the other person wonder about where you stand and what you meant. Being intentional greatly reduces the potential for controversy and suspicion to arise.
Cut back
If your time spent on Facebook is eating into your real relationships, it might be a good idea to limit yourself. Setting boundaries or assigning exact times of the day for social networking will at least give your spouse some idea of when he/she can expect to have your full attention.
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